Celebrating Me at 60

Celebrating Me at 60
Taken on my 60th Brithday

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Pirate Bill and Coral Bay

This morning I made my way into town on Mr. Frett’s taxi to rent a car so that I could more easily explore the Island.  On board I met Awesome Angie and Sassy Sharon from Michigan who asked me about all the places I had been and where was the best snorkeling.  I felt like a world traveler after talking with them.  They were very sweet.  I hope I see them again.
Once in town, Mr. Frett would not take the sizeable tip I tried to give him treating it as if it were an insult, although I detected a hint of a smile which did not appear to come easily for him.  Not only did he refuse my tip he insisted on driving me around free of charge to find a rental car facility.  I am sure it was someplace where he had family or friends but the rate was fair and the young man stressed that he expected nicks and scraps on the car because on the Island that was pretty normal due to tight parking at the beaches and in town.  Walking around the car the handsome young man laughed as he pointed out numerous nicks, dents and scratches and told me not to worry about driving on the left as in 20 minutes it would feel perfectly natural.  He shouted as I left…”Remember…shoulder to the curb”.  That advice helped although this evening after two vodka tonics at Skinny’s I forgot which shoulder but only for a couple of seconds.
This morning after returning with my car, I elected to walk to Francis Bay because I promised myself not to get lazy just because I have a car.  The walk on the road (I use the term loosely) to and from Maho is straight up and straight down but surprisingly this is getting easier and easier the more days I am here.  I spent the morning snorkeling at Francis Bay (not very impressive) and really didn’t meet or get to talk with anyone except briefly to the heavily tattooed couple who pointed out the only place I would see fish. I snorkeled all morning while running back and forth every time I got close to shore to check for messages or missed calls.  I guess I am having major technology withdrawal since I can’t get on the internet for some reason.  These blogs will be posted when I can get back on. So for now it is word).  But I missed a call from my true love and felt a little blue but did get to talk with my son which gave me my connection fix.  What did we do without cell phones? I am beginning to think I am far too dependent on technology.  It is closer to an addiction than a necessity.  That scares me.
When I got back to camp I left a message on the message board for the young couple I met last night to meet me at five and we could go to Coral Bay together but I guess they either did not read the board or did not make it back by five. So at five I made the trek to Coral Bay and Skinny Legs.
I have never driven roads this narrow and there are actually 180 degree turns going straight up and pot holes that could swallow your Jeep.  After twisting and turning and almost running over a burro (left over from the Sugar Plantation days) I entered Coral Bay.  Skinny’s was the first place I saw.  They are known for their Cheeseburgers but it was too hot for a cheeseburger in paradise or not.  I made my way  to the open air bar and order a vodka tonic.  Then I saw him.  How could you miss him?  I hope I can learn how to post photos because you have not lived until you have seen Pirate Bill.
Pirate Bill was walking to the bar from the marina and I so hoped he would sit by me.  He was a very thin man about 5’ 9” white shirt unbuttoned showing this thin chest and white chest hair.  His shoulder length hair was also white as was the rag he had tied around the top of his head.  His snow white beard was very thin but long and hung to the top of his chest.  His face did show the sun wear of the 36 years he had lived of his 77 in St. John but not as much as you would think.  There was a twinkle in his eyes that said he was much younger than 77.  Much to my delight Pirate Bill sat right next to me and I bought him a orange juice and rum in exchange for his stories and a picture of he and his friend with me.  It was a wonderful night and a dangerous ride back to Maho.  I promised Pirate Bill that I would see him on Tuesday and we would celebrate our birthdays together.  He will be officially 77 on Wednesday and I will be 60 on Monday…so party at Skinny’s.
Before I left Pirate Bill slipped a brownie in my purse.  He had been munching on them all night.  As you may guess the brownie had some extra spice that I normally do not add at home.  He stressed he was not much of a baker but after a bite or two I wouldn’t notice.  Fun night but I am tired and may cut this post short.  I will share more Pirate Bill stories and my learning experience from all of this another time.


Maybe The Clear of Mind Was Not Totally True

My first full day at Maho was peppered with meeting wonderful people.  I guess that is what makes me different from the lovely 46 year old I met last night.  She spoke of places and things.  When I travel I have recently realized that I speak of the people I meet and what I learned from each of them.  I am sad to say that I do not remember the name of 46 year old from Italy.  I remember visually…which consists of the face of the person with whom I am speaking but also I visualize their name spelled out and associate it with something that describes them.  Since I could not pronounce her name and did not ask her to spell it for me, I do not remember it.  I do hope we meet again because I will remember her face and beautiful accent.
I began my morning by taking the ‘Goat Trail’ to Big Maho Beach. It is a very rocky hike, straight down and straight up.   I made a spam sandwich, of all things, to take with me, along with some rice crackers and two beers to add to this gourmet lunch.  As soon as I arrived…Joyful Julie and Charismatic Kate from Austin, Texas motioned for me to join them in the water because they had discovered a baby sea turtle.  Since I had left my snorkeling equipment on the beach Kate even offered me her snorkel to view the baby better.  How sweet.  We spoke of being liberals and of the atrocities occurring in Mexico with the Drug Cartels and of being free spirits.  It was lovely.  Sadly they had places to be and left me to my snorkeling alone.
After seeing at least four sea turtles and lots of colorful fish I took a walk down the beach.  As I was walking I saw three adorable children playing in the water and met Darling Denay (I am not sure if that is the correct spelling but that is how I visualized it). She had a day off from crewing a local catamaran and was out with her son and the sons of two friends.  She had just gotten her Captain’s license and was quite proud of the accomplishment as she should be.  She told me that I just had to rent a car and go to Coral Bay if I wanted to socialize with locals and boat people.  So a rental car is in my future.  She talked about her Mom who just turned 60 and was living here in on the Island and how she was in a “good” place.  She also had just left a relationship and it was a good thing according to Denay.  She was so friendly that it left me feeling happy that there are so many special people in the world.
The rest of the day was spent snorkeling and hiking.  This evening I decided to go rent the car I would need to explore the Island.  I had to bolt out the door as I was running quite late and I hear Mr. Frett’s Taxi Service waits for no man or woman.   On board I met an adorable couple…Sexy Seth and Adorable Amy.  Seth manages a Piano bar also in Austin, Texas.  Today this Island seems to be full of people from Austin.  They came to Maho at the spur of the moment and will only be here for a couple of days.  I wanted to stay in touch with them so I reached for my business card and much to my distress found that the forgetful post menopausal mind was back.  My wallet, all my money and credit cards were left in my tent.  Seth, Amy and I pondered what would happen when I told Mr. Frett that I could not pay him.  Seth offered to pay my fare but I declined because I needed to go back to retrieve what I needed to rent the car.  When we arrived I explained my situation to a very stern faced Mr. Frett and asked if he could take me back.  I was told that it would be a two hour wait.  But then something wonderful happened. Keep in mind that Mr. Frett did not know my name of anything about me.  This lovely, still stern faced man told me I could pay him tomorrow and gave me forty dollars to spend in town…who does that?  I tried to give it back but he would not hear of it.  Then I walked with Seth and Amy to Woody’s, a local bar.  They insisted on buying my drinks.  So tomorrow I tip Mr. Frett very well and take Seth and Amy with me in my rental car on an adventure so they will not have to take taxi’s everywhere and I will buy their drinks.
 I have this warm glow about be this evening thinking about the good in people…even stern faced ones.  There are many good people in this world we need to always remember and celebrate that fact at every opportunity.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Discovering Me

I guess I started on my path to self discovery and sanity about a year ago.  I should have started writing down my thoughts and the process at that time.  To be honest I wasn’t sure I was on any path until almost overnight I was sane again.  I know that must sound strange but it happened just like that. I had been on a synthetic hormone since my young body turned against me and zapped me of my youth, restful nights, sex drive, sound mind and the absence of facial hair.  My healthy glow had been replaced with the red face and sweat of the ever prevalent hot flashes.  Then with the help of a wonderful friend and newly found love I discovered a new doctor who understood and started me on a new therapy that returned to me all of the above except youth of course.  But only a youthful body remained out of my reach.  However, my young mind has returned.  I sleep at night.  My power surges (my word for Hot Flashes) have been replaced by real energy driven power surges.  I have hair only where it should be and a healthy sex drive probably more than a woman my age should have.  I have learned to love and be loved. That is the most special part of my discovery.
Now, here I sit at Maho Bay on the Island of St. John sitting on a rustic deck with bits of the Caribbean peaking through the vines and trees watching a Doe try and navigate her way past my tent hugging the side of the mountain with her hooves, stumbling from time to time but making her way none the less.  Just like I do day to day…I stumble and I even fall but the difference is now I laugh while I am doing it and I never stay down for the count.
Since I separated from my husband three years ago I always travel alone and I love it.  Until I find another true traveler (not a tourist) it will remain that way.  This vacation is a special celebration not only is it the culmination of my year of discovery, my year of finally making true friends, of living alone for the first time in my life and of finally loving myself as I have only wished others could have. Somewhere in the middle of this vacation is my 60th Birthday.  Yes, 60!  It is not as difficult to say or to write as I had thought it would be.  On the way to St. John, I told many people why I was traveling alone and even what birthday I was celebrating.  One ticket agent asked to see my driver’s license to check my birth date one more time…flattering but I am over fooling myself, he was flirting and telling a woman she looks younger than she is I am sure works a lot of the time.  But, hey, I still get flirted with and I will not apologize because it still feels good.
Before I begin to chronicle my adventures of this particular vacation I wish to tell you a little about the wonders of being single at 60. (I must use numbers because spelling it our just does not seem to send the same message.  Look at it Sixty or 60!  Wow, 60 has more power to it.)  It won’t take long and is quite simple. 
I left home July 3rd, 2008...why?  I am not sure.  Something just snapped and I knew I had to get out or die old and miserable instead of just old.  My husband thinks it was the insanity of menopause but now that I am sane again I know it was not.  I still don’t want to go home.  I guess you noticed I said husband.  Yes, I did.  He will not agree to a divorce and will not sell the house I feel I paid for financially and with sweat and blood.  What he does do is accept spousal support.  Yes, I pay spousal support.  Exactly five times what I received in child support from my son’s father.  You may ask if that upsets me…well, yes in fact is pisses me off big time.  Also, it lets me know I have arrived.  I must be pretty damn successful to have to pay a man spousal support.  I don’t know one other woman who does that.  I tell myself this so when I write that check each month it doesn’t hurt quite so much.
Now to the good part…I live in a high rise building on the river with beautiful views, a few very close friends and when I walk out to leave on a trip (I travel Monday-Thursday weekly) I know that the place will look just like I left it when I return.  I apologize to no one for sleeping in, watching TV all day when it rains, doing a poor job of loading the dishwasher, playing my music at 5am or eating in bed, if I am so inclined and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! That is all I have to say about that.
Now to my vacation to celebrate me…first of all I way over packed.  Maho is not the place for dress up. I did bring bathing suit cover-ups that are far too cute and skirts and tops that may be a little too dressy.  It is much hotter than I remember.  I had a tent with ceiling fans and a shower but opted to move out because there was no deck and I could not sit out here like I am doing now and write.  So I sweat my ass off at night.  At least I can sit outside in the mornings and listen to the ocean at night.  I think it is a small price to pay.
It took me three hours to get here after I landed in St. Thomas.  Note to self…remember this so you don’t miss your plane next Thursday.  I met a wonderful lady 46 years old and very proud.  She is a true traveler.  I pale in comparison.  She has lived with the native population in New Guinea, been to the outback in Australia six times, Borneo, and the list goes on and on.  She is leaving here tomorrow and kayaking the islands, then on to Iceland, Greenland and a few other places before returning home in precisely 32 days.  I envy her.  Note to self…be much more adventurous.
Speaking of adventure…I must get dressed and head out to find some adventure today or this trip will be for naught.  Catch you up tonight.